Friday, 27 September 2013

Who You Are | One for the Weekend

So many friends of mine have been sharing this video on Facebook recently.
 It's come up in my feed about seven times today alone.

I would always just skim right on by. Despite the "Ladies please watch this", and "if you do anything today - watch this!" comments.

From the frozen shot of the video cover, I thought I could tell that this video wouldn't make a difference; it wouldn't change how I was feeling about me.

But today, as I led next to my beautiful baby, admiring the seamless rise and fall of her back as she sleeps soundly on her chest, I felt I should; if not for me, but for her.

I'd already made some kind of decision that no matter what was said in the three minute video, it wouldn't make a difference.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

Simply because, what this young man states is true.

My worth, my power, my divinity, and strength.

Sometimes it's hard to remember to "love me", and it's even harder to do. But watch this. This powerful, emotional and sincere message will soon remind you of all the ways in which you matter; are important; can make a difference. Even if it all just happens in your own little world and bubble and life.

Seriously now, if you do nothing else today, watch this.

You're awesome. And so am I.

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

Can't kick the cravings.

When I was pregnant I was very sick. I threw up at least once (sometimes six times) every single day for 24 weeks, and then every other day for a few weeks. The sickness started to slowly fizzle away and would just pop up every now and again for breakfast (or un-breakfast...). I weighed considerably less two week's post-partum than I did when I fell pregnant.

I've recently read of pregnant friends and family members experiencing cravings of all kinds and wonders - this was one of the pregnancy I never got to experience. I never craved a thing. To be honest, I hated the thought, idea, even the taste and especially the smell of most foods.

I ate a very small breakfast, have digestive biscuits as a snack, maybe try a salad for lunch. I'd pick my way through the day until dinner, when I would barely eat half of the small portion that was on my plate.

The nausea and distaste for food continued for a few weeks after having Lily. I was exhausted, and eating felt and still smelled like something I didn't have the time or energy for.

Until we moved to Munich.

I exclusively breastfed Lily. Some days it felt like she was permanently attached. And I started to feel something I hadn't felt in quite a long time; hunger.

I'd wake up in the morning absolutely starving, and as soon as I'd finish my breakfast I'd be thinking about Lunch and what I could possibly have in between. I would drink like a fish and feed my baby, and eat, and change her, and eat, and play with her whilst eating and then eat some more. I greeted someone I'd known before called Appetite, and invited him to stay.

Strangely, I found myself craving things. The more I ate, the more I wanted. For the first time in a very long time, I would walk passed shop and bakery and restaurant windows and find myself wanting whatever was on display. And Munich is the worst place to be when you have such a habit - there are aesthetically and smell-ally pleasing such shops everywhere, and my stomach seems to seize control of my mind and reason-ability and walks my growing (outward) legs into such places and buys things for me!

I had forgotten what it was like to enjoy food, to put it in my mouth for nothing but pleasure; to crave something sweet, salty, sandwiched, sauteed, sauced or succulent. I would eat all three square meals a day with plenty of snacks in between, finish my plate and go for more. And even when I was full I'd want to clean out the serving dish with my fork, and maybe add some bread for good measure.

I was sure I had a problem. And then I googled it. And I found the answer; breast-feeding. It makes you eat like a pig in a vegetable patch when the farmer is taking a nap. And that is most definitely how I felt and still feel now.

But now, I'm starting to try Lily on different solids - a little avocado, some banana, baby porridge and apple sauce. She is loving it. But now even though she is taking to food so well, and I'm feeding her a little less myself, I'm still eating like that pig we talked about, and wanting more food than ever. Chocolate, pastries, sandwiches; snacks of every sort and variety. I just cannot kick these cravings.

I've been wanting to try out a three-day detox for a while now to try and re-boot my system, but I can't get passed 9 o'clock without grabbing a little nibble, that turns into a bite, then a munch, evolving from an early lunch to a full-blown feast. I feel like my energy levels won't allow me to go more than thirty minutes without solid food.

So here's my plea; help!

Did you find the same problem when nursing your baby? How did you get through the day without eating yourself out of house and home? Any tips for curbing the hunger? I can't kick these cravings!

Tuesday, 3 September 2013

Just love life.

We'e done it! We're in. We're here!

...And have been for like... three weeks. Whoops!

But we have internet now! And a landline! But no phone...

But it's okay! We have our own home again! And we couldn't be happier.

It took quite a long time, and a small war between us and a certain internet provider here in Germany, but we have internet now, we are able to communicate again!

We also surrendered in the war between us and a certain UK mobile phone network provider and just bought little phones here in Munich that we could actually use. Our beloved smart phones now sit on a shelf under the coffee table gathering dust and hay... But at least we can call each other now.

Lily and I have been busy, busy, busy setting up home and making it a beautiful place for our little family to live in.

Pete was an absolute star building all of the furniture (but I will take sole credit for the dining room table and the pantry shelves!). Who doesn't love Ikea? Flat-pack furniture is the way to go!

I am desperate to take pictures of our new home and share them here on the blog, but there's still something left to do in every room right now, so I think we'll have to wait a while for those.

But I just wanted to post. I've missed the blog. I've missed writing.

A lot has happened these passed couple of weeks and I feel that in some ways I have grown so much, and I have a lot to share, so stay tuned for SO many updates here on the Magpantay's!

So happy to be here. Loving Munich. Love our home. In love with my family. Loved hosting for good friends last night. Just love life right now. Just love life.