Saturday, 3 August 2013

A Very Special Post

I just read this post, over on Ashley Sullenger's Blog.

My heart melted. My eyes cried. My arms ached.

I've been thinking about Seth a lot recently. Being so far away from where he was born and buried breaks my heart a little more every day at the moment. But I know with time it will start to get easier to be so far.

I am so grateful for the Nurses, Midwives and Doctors who looked after me before, during, and after Seth's birth. I will never forget them and the loving care and compassion that each and every one of them showed not just me, but my husband, parents and other family members.

I am especially grateful to the Midwives who delivered Seth, ensuring a sweet and calm atmosphere in the delivery suite while he was being born and afterwards. I am also so grateful to them for creating the memories and items that our family now cherish, and will do forever.

I am also so grateful to the Doctor who researched his death. She was so caring, and as she explained her theories as to what might have happened (although we will never know for sure) she wept with us, and held our hands, and talked about Seth the way that we do - as our firstborn child, and forever a member of our family.

I am especially grateful to the Midwife who first saw us when we came to hospital with worries about Seth; who hugged us when we found out the life-altering, awful news; who visited with us the following day after his birth to let us know she loved and cared for us; and who arranged her shifts especially for us, so that she could be there at our follow-up appointment and review with the doctor. She will always hold an extra special place in my heart.

Some of you may know Emily Beale, over at Emily Beale Photography, you can visit her blog here. She is one of the sweetest and most talented people I know.

I have mentioned her a few times before, and have linked up with her here a couple of times.

Emily is a fantastic photographer. She braved a very chilly March morning to take our Engagement Photos and battled hailing rain for our Wedding! And we still came out with the most beautiful photos.
I remember seeing her when I was about 22 weeks pregnant with Seth; I'd seen her newborn work and was so excited for her to take his photos! Sadly, this never happened.
A couple of months before Lily was born, I asked if she would be able to photograph Lily when she came.
I must admit, this niggled at me for a while. I knew we would have an opportunity at the shoot to have a little family photograph, but something didn't feel right.
As we prepared for Lily to arrive alongside our move to Munich, I knew what I needed to ask Emily to do.
The perfect opportunity came to ask while she was taking a quick cupcake-break from being Photographer at Abi's Wedding, (visit Abi's blog here!). I was nervous to ask, but Emily put me right at ease. And she obliged to my request with us both in sweet tears. My heart flew.
Lily was born two days later, and two weeks after that we took her to Emily's studio to be photographed, along with a very special box.
Emily photographed the content of the box first, and this was the result.

{This last one is Lily wrapped in one of Seth's blankets - it might be the closest thing I will ever have to a picture of both of my children. I love this picture so much}

These are almost of the earthly things I have left to remind of Seth (I have more, but some are just too precious to share).

I will always be grateful that Emily was able to take these precious, precious pictures for me. And I will always be grateful to the Nurses and Midwives who not only took care of me, Pete and our precious boy, but created some of these little memories for us.

I will cherish them all until the day I am reunited with my perfect boy, Seth Peter.

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