People might think it's a little odd, but I would most definitely say that I'm quite the feminist. It's quite obvious I'm not an extreme, modern feminist, but I believe I'm a feminist in the way that I appreciate all of the great things that marvelous women have done over hundreds of years, which mean that in this day, I have a choice. For a long time, women were not given the right to choose much at all with regard to their own lives, and I am so grateful that this has changed, and that I live in this day of female choice.
Some may argue that I am indeed, not a feminist, because of my choices; but because I choose what people may describe as "femininity", does not mean I'm not a feminist.
Rather a lot of ignorant people the world over think that feminism is about being a woman but wanting to be a man. It's not.
I think feminism is about recognising women, loving, and respecting them; whether the woman chooses to act, talk, dress, dance like a man, or whether they choose to do their hair every day, and wear skirts, make-up and lots of pink.
So now you know my opinion.
Today I was blessed to come across this article on Everyday Feminism. Read it now.
Recently, I've been struggling with this very issue; I've been finding it really hard to love my body.
At almost 12 weeks postpartum, a lot of people have been telling me I look great. But every time, something inside me says "No, I don't". I think it's mostly down to not feeling great. Yes, I've just had a baby, and no, I'm not well, but is that any reason for me to feel so negatively about my body... my image... myself?
I have always struggled with my self-esteem. And there are a number of reasons for it; some I know, some I don't. But either way, I still struggle. But me aside, I think a lot of women do. And this is something that I think needs to be more widely addressed worldwide; in the media, in the home, and in our own heads.
Why is it that women are so self-critical? Why is it that for me to even start to think about making a change in the way I think about myself, I had to read this article four times? Why am I still so nervous? Why am I not sure I can do it? Why am I doubting so much?
Because, for many reasons, it has been ingrained in me that I - my body, myself, me - am not good enough, slim enough, beautiful enough, fashionable enough, or enough of anything at all. I always think of myself as falling short. I do not love, or accept, my body. And I don't think I'm the only one.
But I have made a decision, and it starts with this weekend. If you decided to skip over it earlier, read THIS ARTICLE NOW!
This is my favourite bit:
"You’re a spiritual being having a physical experience. The way that you experience the world is through your body. When you feel love and approval toward your body, then you can truly experience your life and the world around you."When I read this part, my throat swelled, because it resonated so deeply with me. When I go out, especially places where there are lots of people I know or need to get to know, I am constantly thinking about the way I look; whether it's my hair, my clothes, my skin, my face, my body, or even my feet - It's always in the back of my mind. If I could change that at all, I might more enjoy the things that I go to enjoy, I might be more a part of it, gain more from, be happier because of it, and "truly experience [my] life and the world around [me]".
By the time I finished reading the article, a tear had rolled down my cheek. It was a tear of recognition. I recognised that I was all of those reasons to not love and accept my body. I realised that I really need to change the way I view myself. And not just for me; I have a daughter now. She will spend almost every waking day with me for the next three years at least; do I really want Lily to see me the way that I see myself? Do I want her to see herself the way that I see myself? Because she will learn from me.
The answer to those questions is no. I want her to love and respect and accept her body. Therefore, I need to do just that to mine.
So I start here, on the Blog, this weekend.
This weekend, every time an un-loving, body-negative thought creeps into my mind, I will try my very best to abolish it with something positive. Even if I just follow the negative thought with a "but", I will make it look up, somehow.
I'm a far way away from really loving my body, but I can start now with trying to accept it.
Why don't you join me? I challenge you to learn to accept the body that you have been blessed with, and develop that acceptance into love, and see how your perspective, outlook, body and life changes as we make this great step on the road to self-worth.
**Before taking yourself on this journey please read the two following articles**
- One girl almost died trying to love her body; by trying to adapt her body to love, rather than the other way around. Please read this so that you can learn to love yourself safely.
- This one has one really great tip on learning to love the body you've been blessed with!