Today is Father's Day. A day to celebrate fathers. A day to love and spoil our Dads.
Pete returned home from work late on Friday, and as soon as he walked in the door he fell apart. I held him as he cried for our little boy, and cried too.
We attended church in my parent's home ward today. Of course, all of the talks were about Dads. A young boy and his Mum gave a talk, followed by a brand new deacon. They were lovely, full of humour and innocent anecdotes, Pete and I began to feel sad, mourning for our own son. When the third speaker took the stand, she began to quote a talk from President Spencer W. Kimball. It was one of counsel to young people, and the part she focused on was direction given to young married couples.
It was a talk that Peter and I had read together when we found out we were expecting just a few weeks after being married. We were anxious about being able to provide for a tiny baby, and about being a brand-new married couple with a brand-new baby. We read that talk from that great prophet and our minds and hearts were at ease. We knew that it was a blessing from the Lord, and that He had a plan for us, and that it was what was right for then.
Of course, when March 17th rolled around, six months married, and a week from six months pregnant, we did not understand.
We prayed to Heavenly Father asking "Why? Why give us this wonderful blessing, confirm to us that it's right, and then so cruelly take it away? Why?"
It was, without a doubt, the most difficult thing ever. We just could not understand. We had done everything we could for our little boy, and we were so ready to be parents, and to love and nurture and care for one of Heavenly Father's children.
So today was hard. Hearing those wise words from President Kimball that we obtained so much faith from just broke our hearts. It brought back the memories of lying on our bed in our pyjamas, Peter talking to my tummy, saying hello to baby, telling baby that we love him, introducing ourselves as baby's parents, and knowing that baby was what Heavenly Father had planned for us, that baby was ours, and that he would be ours forever because of our precious temple sealing that we had experienced just weeks before.
We left the meeting early, both in tears, crying for Seth, and frustrated at the world, at our experiences, that he is not here with us on this blessed Father's day.
When we returned to my parent's home, I thought about the words of President Kimball's talk, and what they meant to me then, and how their meaning has changed for me now.
And oh, how they've changed. The voice is so much clearer, the words so much more meaning. Our faith ever stronger.
I thought of those words, and knew that Heavenly Father has a plan for us, the Magpantay family. He has a plan, divinely designed, unique to us. A plan that will take us on so many journeys, ups and downs, and forwards and backwards. Day by day that plan plays out in our lives, and how often do we really take the time to appreciate all of our Father in Heaven's hard work? All of the blessings that he has bestowed upon us, and that he has in store for us? How many times do we wish things were different? Rather than appreciating that every down has an up, every back a forward, every trial, a blessing, that is created divinely for us, individually, and as families?
So today is a day for our Dads; our Fathers.
I held my husband and kissed him today, and told him he is a Daddy, and that I know Seth is watching him on this blessed day.
And I got to be held by my own Daddy today, he squeezed me tight and kissed my cheek and held my hand, and it took everything I had in me not to cry when we left him this afternoon. Thank you for being the best Dad for me, and for all that you have done.
And I got to pray to my Father in Heaven, in my heart I thanked him for our trial, and for the blessings that we have received so far for enduring it so, and for the blessings that I know He has in store for us if we continue to be faithful. And I thanked Him for His divine design; His eternal plan of happiness which we are blessed to have a knowledge of, which means that we can hold and love and cherish and nurture our precious, perfect little boy again.
"Any fool can be a Father, but it takes a real man to be a Daddy."
Philip Whitmore Senior.
To the two best Dads I know,
I love you, forever.
Thank you, for being the best.